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a peek-in, as in "hello"

Nov. 25th, 2009 | 09:44 am

"For beauty, my Plædrus, beauty alone, is lovely and visible at once. For, mark you, it is the sole aspect of the spiritual which we can perceive through our senses, or bear so to perceive. Else what should become of us, if the divine, if reason and virtue and truth, were to speak to us through the senses? Should we not perish and be consumed by love, as Semele aforetime was by Zeus? So beauty, then, is the beauty-lover's way to the spirit--but only the way, only the means, my little Phædrus." . . . And then, sly arch-lover that he was, he said the subtlest thing of all: that the lover was nearer the divine than the beloved; for the god was in the one but not in the other--perhaps the tenderest, most mocking thought that ever was thought, and source of all the guile and secret bliss the lover knows. Thought that can merge wholly into feeling, feeling that can merge wholly into thought--these are the artist's highest joy. And our solitary felt in himself at this moment power to command and wield a thought that thrilled with emotion, an emotion as precise and concentrated as thought: namely, that nature herself shivers with ecstasy when the mind bows down in homage before beauty."

I <3 Death in Venice! It's so beautifully written. A very dramatic change from Kafka. Hmm...
(Watch it here, or settle with the trailer)

My Winter courses for present:
(subjectable to change. I'm hoping to take Greek next Fall, and some kind of Classics course this Winter)

Anthropology of Meaning
Through the analysis of language, symbols and cultural constructions of meaning, this course explores how people in different societies make sense of their world, and the ways in which they organise that knowledge, and how ideologies represent the different interests present in a society.

Studies in Japanese cinema: 1960s avant-garde cinema
(We'll be doing a bit of Godard, too. So French + Japanese New Wave)

The Making of Modern Poetry (1900-1950)

Studies in 19th century Lit:
Victorian era: Medicine and mystery
(Apparently the professor is very good. hmm)

German Lit 19th century
(Another instance of good professor-ness. I'm taking either this, or a 1) a culture course 2) another other-country lit course 3) a classics Greek lit course, because the Classics are so pure!)

Tentative :3

<3

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a bruised and battered me / "it's just a flesh wound"

Nov. 17th, 2009 | 10:13 pm

I refuse to be an object of pity.


On the bright side, I got to eat my (new) favourite food.

one more (mangez et moi), and another day's dinner )

Erm. And everyone was incredibly sympathetic. I think myself very anchronistic in actually enjoying pain.

<3

Update i: For details. I would add I got scolded significantly, and felt Very Bad. I will try to take care of myself in the future. Mrr.

Update ii: Blue ipod with 'atlantis, dreaming' inscribed on back like an island due to arrive today! Very apt timing :/. Father was going to send it via US, but I suppose he felt bad for being very unsympathetic initially (about the whole 'I had to see a doctor, had no insurance card with me, so sitches/skin glue cost money, etc').
Yay. I can record today's Jap lecture on pokemon culture :3

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erm.

Nov. 16th, 2009 | 04:38 pm

So conveniently fell off a bicycle while (ironically) getting some medicine and smashed the inside of my lip. Blood, all over jacket, shirt, (white) headphones. Got picked up by Kind Stranger while walking streets bloodied and dizzy-eyed, and brought to clinic, where a Kind doctor told me how lucky I am to have hurt (very majorly) the part of my body that heals the fastest.
Strangely, my face is very much in tact. No fashionable scars, apart from minor redness that I am sure will disappear in a few days.

Means I may not have to do my german presentation, due to inability to speak. How convenient.
(Funny how mysterious cold has dissipated momentarily in lieu of new illness. How the universe works in my favour)

It's rather melodramatic, in retrospect. People sweep me glances on the street, because I am pitiable.
Hee.

Proper update later.

Update: It's funny how people here understand bike accidents. It's nice not to be the first to have gotten hurt in one. Hee. Hmm. Still dizzy spells present. I feel so valiant in my efforts to combat them and get work done.
Professor, because he doesn't want me to die writing the essay, has given me an extension. Still. Perhaps should settle in bed and read Metamorphosis, which I'm supposed to have finished. Mrr.

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the neurosis untangled (&a blah-blah-blur)

Nov. 15th, 2009 | 10:40 pm


Update being: Shoot. I think I am sick. Ah well, excuse to postpone deadlines. German Prof says "Drink lots of water and take some aspirin (says the doctor)" Hee, he makes me laugh.
Reading Charles De Lint's Moonheart in bed, aside readings on human experimentation. Also, Vintage Tattoos and the Coraline visual companion from the (neighbourhood, primarily french-speaking) library. Mrr.

(Also had post-modern reflections on otaku culture readings + how pokemon evokes innocent child-play. How my Japanese course is shaping up in a strange way. I rather liked Hiroshima Mon Amour. I wonder what comes next? Remind me of how inexorably old world I am will you, dear universe. it explains the company I keep)

I've also decided to get the blue ipod and inscribe "atlantis, dreaming" in the middle. Like an island. Lovely.
I can now record lectures! oh, how practical. Thank you, dear father <3

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at the architecture cafe

Nov. 14th, 2009 | 10:14 pm
music: yuri-g- pj harvey


white fugue white fog, calling
smudged keys on a blank canvas skipping notes in the inexorable
sky of a head scrubbed clean as a brush of white ink
carelessly spilled over by white fire

today, I feel like death.




Heard heartbreakingly beautiful music drifting in from dark musty brick-walled cafes, hidden in the basement of seemingly boring physics buildings.
It was strangely cathartic.

Thank god for the surreal beauties <3

Update being: Shoot. I think I am sick. Ah well, excuse to postpone deadline. German Prof says "Drink lots of water and take some aspirin (says the doctor)" Hee, he makes me laugh.
Reading Charles De Lint's Moonheart in bed, aside readings on human experimentation.

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of technology-things

Nov. 14th, 2009 | 10:16 am

Should I get the red and inscribe "mon opium" or...
the blue and inscribe "atlantis, dreaming"?

Imperative! tell me what you think!

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a report from the interior

Nov. 12th, 2009 | 03:27 pm

I am in love with the Mcgill library.

My goodness.
old, musty bookshelves full of old, withering books here I come. I will pitch a tent and spend morning and night devouring these books.
So much!

Pictures, later.

Update: for now I've borrowed Beauty by Kirwan and "Dreams and Primitive Culture", a withering lecture from 1918. the lecturer refers to primitive culture as the "savage and barbarous peoples'. It's fascinating.

An excerpt: "the passion of the lover, writes Ficino, is not extinguished by the sight or touch of any body, for what he truly desires and unknowingly suffers is the splendour of God shining through the body. it is a desire like that of Narcissus, that can never be satisfied. In the act of beauty I both possess and do not possess; beauty is before me but before its presence is the knowledge of deprivation, the absence of that thing which has brought it into being for me. here the ecstasy and abandonment of the grand passion, and why people in love consider themselves both moer fortunate and more unfortunate than anyone else"

Strangely, it was the least overwhelming among books on the shelf I found... (aesthetics, psychology, spiritualism, demonology, dreams- what order do these books flow from? and I'm talking old, musty books from centuries-ago, here)


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brief appearances

Nov. 12th, 2009 | 09:12 am
music: mellow- shiina ringo


old, withering copies of "The Bell Jar"
librarian: you're borrowing the Bell Jar? you must be in a good mood

after being possessed by that very Modern Book of Franza (which explores the fascist tendencies
of gender relations through a Bluebeardian figure. colonisation of the soul, etc. very heavy stuff, but sort of goes in rhythm with how I've been feeling lately. what idiots men are, oui.), it's really nothing.

(clarification being: I am not being, in any way, terrorised. it's more at an annoyance at people projecting illusions upon you. it's another way of accidentally erasing your name, because you become inadvertently silenced into a frozen image)

it's pretty, non?



bell jar, continued )
note to self: must explore library-interiors for happy neil gaiman comics.

(there is a graphic novel course next term! together with a Jap '60s avant-garde film course (Funeral Parade of Roses, anyone?) taught by my present, very lovely and always impeccably dressed Japanese professor. There is also an English folklore course, an "anthropology of meaning" (symbols) and "anthropology of the body" course, among much others. Choices, choices...

and (very delectable) food )

et (more) de moi )

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stillness continued

Nov. 8th, 2009 | 12:19 pm

Dreams bubbling underneath lids
swollen like grapes, blossoming lids a lie
made-up doll, a figurine of stillness

mirror, mirror do you remember the watery
surface of dreams, of the sea, of a world
sweeping underneath, like the universe's
breath, carrying me away, away

a nowhere land, heart white as a desert
the sun, suddenly, an abomination.

what do you make of life when everything
feels swept clean?

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solemn, ravaged, contemplative

Nov. 8th, 2009 | 12:10 pm


A muddle, a puzzling thing to be.

Stillness, yet soothing torrents underneath the surface.


Also, inexplicably swollen lids. Makes me look like a made-up doll. Hair's recovering from a drought.
Inside, all is cold. A white desert.

Words float. I'm not sure if I remember my face.
 

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~...~

Oct. 31st, 2009 | 10:36 pm


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29/9 cake and velvet green

Oct. 25th, 2009 | 10:51 pm




... )

My favourite library!

(exterior). It faces a chapel, and is situated in the religious studies building. The walls are decked by the portraits of Various Great Men.
The library itself is governed by an old, withering man with a long white beard who shoos everyone out at closing hour. True, true.

behold, my favourite (oxford-esque) library )
And food...

<3

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of school 23-24 oct

Oct. 25th, 2009 | 10:43 pm



 

etc )

Chilly, happy days <3
 

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daylight and happy things

Oct. 25th, 2009 | 07:59 pm

 
 



of today )

Will do a post of Pictures With My School In It Later. Oui.

<3

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hello, I think I shall be a ghost today.

Sep. 18th, 2009 | 11:04 pm


Hee. Just getting lost in hotel-corridors, trying to find the metro.
Bought 2 grey armwarmers! They are a new kind of love.

I'm content, really. No theatrics, nothing complex. Just simplicity, and life savoured.
And the little pleasures. The moment- c'est tout.

(Hmm, the top picture reminds me of Kubrick's The Shining, which I'm watching in for class. Mrr. Scary.)



stumbling into hotel mirrors, and clothes. of the accessory kind. )
Bonne nuit <3

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a gift

Sep. 17th, 2009 | 11:27 pm


For my person's person. (Patrick, basically >_>. Belated presents.)

C'est tout pour aujourd'hui. Je suis indolent.
Bisous, mon ami.
<3

PS: Attendre! Of Rainbows Through Grey Eyes (journal de la mode) has been updated.
 

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the sky, the basin for my thoughts

Sep. 15th, 2009 | 06:07 am


of you, the sky that upturns upon its shoulders
my head swims in a sea of madness, a soul stretches
like a rubber band across fields unbidden
on the wind, I remember my name again.

~
Caressing the marble and stone,
Love that was special for one,
The waste in the fever I heat,
How I wish you were here with me now.

Body that curls in and dies,
And shares that awful daylight,
Warm like a dog round your feet,
How I wish you were here with me now.

Hangman looks round as he waits,
Cord stretches tight then it breaks,
Someday we will die in your dreams,
How I wish we were here with you now. 

Joy Division- In A Lonely Place

 
{link}

~
Yay :3

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a melange of things

Sep. 14th, 2009 | 09:54 pm
music: magnetic fields!



The sky, an ocean averted.

et moi )

Some notes:
Enter mononoke: Spirit Possession in Cultural Context  )

The funny thing is I attempted something similar recently. Well, not spirit possession/overt displays of defiance etc, but blurring the mirrors, marring the reflections, walking off the path to the grey chasm and beyond, which I think is similar... It was triggered by a combination of factors, including curiosity, and a feeling of the borders tipping... This is what I came back with:

{"I will write out these prognastications and tell you what I find at the end of the world, where all paths end- silence now, I am in the grey chasm"}

And lastly, something I cut up :D
deux moi )

Et some pretty pictures (shall upload properly later...):
Flowers in the dark

It's funny how many of the images in my dreams are re-surfacing in reality. It's almost as disconcerting as the fact the things I'm studying mirrors the things I go through in Real Time in an eerie, eerie way... (Healing, weirdness, the fairy tale,  'the other', spirit possession as ritual, the maze and the minotaur, etc). It's that annoying synchronicity again.
 
<3

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une fleur, deux moi, trois chat noir (makes a rhyme)

Sep. 12th, 2009 | 05:47 am
music: a stranger- a perfect circle


Saw two black cats. Wore colours of autumnal reds, mixed with purple grey and a hint of deep-sea blue.
Also, got things done.


une fleur, deux moi... )
et some Sandman quotes from 'A Game of You'  )

Brought about my this and this. So. Very. Jealous.

This hour-before-dawn, I'm slightly solemn. Not quite sure why.
(Note to self: always eat ample lunch so I don't overeat at dinner and end up awakened by nightmares...
Note ii to self: porridge is not ample lunch)

<3

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a slice of my morning

Sep. 11th, 2009 | 11:25 am


I love studying by mornings!



me, this morning )

From Jap "Intro to Weirdness" readings
(how the mythical imagination of a nation is vital in shaping the cultural milieu- fascinating stuff. I think the technical  term is ontology)

 
Next readings are 2 Japanese folkloric stories, wee...
Erm. Yes, actually I spent my morning doing my Healer readings. They were interesting, too. I love, love that course...

<3
 

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